My friends and I are college sophomores in our very early 20’s, starting a theatre company to launch in June. From Monday to Friday we share an office with my mentor, who happens to be an interior designer in business and my pastor’s wife. Her husband–my pastor–gives us complimentary leadership coaching sessions every Monday.
It all started in November when she invited our class for lunch at her office to get acquainted and arrange for us to perform for the neighbourhood Christmas party. It was a very rushed project–normally a full drama production would take at least 3 months to prepare, but we launched ours in 3 weeks. Initially we did not mean to go so far as to starting a company–but it went in that direction as soon as we realised the need for an identity separate from our campus’s, and the necessity of raising sponsorship funds in the process.
Well, we didn’t quite raise enough money for that performance–so my mentor ended up paying the bills… a grand total well around $2500. On one hand I do admit that it was our fault for not raising enough money, but on the other hand she should have known that the kids participating in this project were trained mostly for the performance side of it but barely on the organisational and financial side of it. We’re still about $400 in debt and she’s kinda broke right now.
In January, 2 weeks after the performance, three of us (me and two classmates) started meeting daily in her office to figure out how in the world could we pay her back. None of us have a job, so we figured the only way to do that is to produce some more and share the profit with her once we break even and beyond. Our next production is due June and we currently have a team of 40 (expanding rapidly).
My mentor has been very generous in providing us resources–office space, meeting hall, storage, internet wi-fi, drinking water, her business associates, advice, time to pray and counsel. Lately, every day I go to her office I’ve been thinking of ways to pay her back that we can do on a daily and weekly basis–simple things that get our love across, that don’t require us to wait for special occasions because they burn holes in our pockets.
- nice words? i tell her nice things and affirmations every day, but it doesn’t look like it’s her love language
- hugs? neither
- bring food to share at the office? she’s been fasting during office hours since God knows when till God knows when
- offer to run errands? her employees are much better trained at doing that than we are, and she has more than enough of them already. given that she likes it practical, i think she is happier to let her employees do what they are trained at.
- small gifts? she won’t have space or time for them. we bought her a coffee table book for her birthday on her husband’s advice but it’s still sitting on her desk and i never saw her read it.
- help pay the utilities? we barely have enough for production
- flowers? she hates to have to maintain them
- thank you cards? she hates clutter
- spend "quality time" with her? it’s a bit difficult when she’s the type that feels that every second has to be productive. she’s often multitasking, or allow other people to be around when I want to spend time "just being" with her
I tend to be a "quality time" and "physical touch" person but obviously she is neither. I can accommodate "words of affirmation" and "acts of service" when required, but am not sure which of these are her. I’m not very good with "gifts" unfortunately, but am willing to try.
All the nice things I remember doing for her is to organise a surprise party on her birthday, referring some people to do business with her (which I don’t have every day), and praying for her every day. It’s so embarrassing compared to what she and her husband always do for us.
To make things worse, I don’t think my colleagues and parents realize how much this couple have invested in us without knowing when or how it’s going to pay off. I just want to do something to thank them and show the love, because I don’t think it’s right to take our privilege of working together with them for granted.
Your ideas will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance 
I think the most important thing is to be respectful and make sure everyone in your company avoids having an entitlement mentality (the attitude that you are owed what she gives you). But it seems like you got that taken care of already. Beyond that, I suggest some of you get part-time jobs to pay her back. I’m not sure about the numbers but even if you owe $2900 it won’t take that long to earn. Plus, you can save up money for your next production. Additionally, you’re going to have to face the fact that your company may never break even. To show you’re gratitude, just remain respectful and try to show gratitude with the little things, like bringing in homemade cookies and helping clean up. If you owe her money, you shouldn’t be buying her junk; you should be paying her back.
Lisa Schaffner, director of public relations and marketing at United Network for Organ Sharing, moderates a discussion with five panelists; Aaron Dotson, principle and creative strategist for Elevation; Conaway B. Haskins, III, state director in the office of Sen. Jim Webb; Jon Newman, partner from The Hodges Partnership; Scott Pharr, co-owner of PharrOut; and Cynthia Price, director of communications for ChildFund International at the Jepson School’s Strategic Leadership and Social Media For Social Good conference in July, 2009.
Jim Cantelon speaks with Larry Kreider about revealing the secret of effective leadership.
Experiences Influencing Leadership Style
4-6 minute excerpt/sample from Type Practitioner Blueprint Online Seminar Series 2 DVD